David finally beats Goliath
THE euphoria created by David Haye's victory over Nikolai Valuev should now be the subject of some sober reflection. A Martian landing in England on the night of the fight must have thought Haye had at least beaten a Muhammad Ali or a Joe Louis to win the WBA world title.
But in modern Britain, I am afraid any perspective is ignored when the occasion arises to rejoice in an unexpected sporting triumph. The fact Haye was judged to be too good for a man seven stones heavier and nine inches taller is, of course, highly commendable.
It is no exaggeration to say, though, that Valuev is the worst champion in the 120-year history of the heavyweight division. That just did not seem to register with many of the pundits. And those who ridiculously compared Haye with Ali insulted our intelligence. Nuremberg was supposed to have staged a battle between David and Goliath.
Unfortunately, Goliath did not show up on the night. Instead, he sent his mate - a giant sloth, one of the pre-historic monsters who ever so slowly roamed Earth 10,000 years ago. The Russian giant was so ponderous, even if Haye had been riddled with arthritis he would not have had a problem keeping out of harm's way. David's hit-and-hop-it tactics could not be faulted but the result was a travesty of a fight.
The number of meaningful punches landed by both men in the 36 minutes of inaction could be counted on the fingers of both hands. The majority of the 400,000 who paid nearly £15 to watch it on Sky TV probably felt they did not get value for money. I certainly was not happy but my recording will come in useful. If ever I cannot sleep, I will play it.
Haye and Valuev were lucky the late Harry Gibbs was not in charge. He would have regarded them as a couple of conscientious objectors. No-nonsense Gibbs, a blunt Cockney from Haye's South London manor, was Britain's finest referee for more than 30 years. He might have tolerated their pacifism for a few rounds before reading them the riot act.
I can hear Harry telling them in no uncertain terms "Now listen, you two. People have paid good money to see a fight, so you had better get on with it. If you don't, I'll throw you both out"
Richard Schaefer, the Swiss banker and chief executive of Golden Boy Promotions - who will no doubt have a major influence on Haye's future - got carried away with the jubilation of the moment. He declared Haye is the most charismatic heavyweight since Ali.
Schaefer obviously knows more about banking than boxing, as apparently he has never heard of Riddick Bowe, Mike Tyson or Frank Bruno. But good luck to Haye. He capitalised on Valuev's ineptitude and has revitalised a moribund division dominated by extremely dull Eastern Europeans ever since Lennox Lewis retired six years ago.
Haye is supposed to make the first defence of his WBA crown against mandatory challenger John Ruiz, another unexciting plodder. He would be well advised to forget Ruiz and go straight for WBC champion Vitali Klitschko, even if it means giving up his championship belt.
A Haye-Klitschko clash would galvanise the American TV market and produce many more millions than a mundane meeting with Ruiz. If Haye can do a job on Klitschko, then he would thoroughly deserve all the superlatives found in the dictionary.